I wanted to share some things I encountered when my mom was 1st diagnosed with cancer @ the age of 50. Everyday it seems like more and more people are being diagnosed with the horrible “C” word. I hate that word with a passion. Some of the emotions I felt as my mothers care giver when she was 1st diagnosed
1. Anger(I was so mad at GOD and the cancer!)
2. Why her
5. Even more angry!
Some of the things mom was thinking was she was dreaming, WHY ME, what did I do wrong, what did I breath in, my life is over.
I’m here to tell you the phases that occurred and hopefully this will give you some light on the diagnoses phase.
Complete shock, numbness, nausea can fill the patients emotions. Although some denial can be healthy, it may prevent someone from dealing effectively with issues that are important.
Anger is a stage that almost everyone goes through when dealing with grief. Questions like ‘why did this happen to me?’ or ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ are common. Surrounding yourself with friends and family and talking with others going through a similar situation can be helpful when overcoming anger.
Bargaining is also a stage that a lot of people face when dealing with grief. Thoughts of ‘if only I’d done this’ are common. Many people may try to bargain to prevent future losses by changing their lifestyle or even promising God that they will change their behavior in exchange for good health.
PHASE 4- Sadness
The fourth stage is sadness. Most people facing a cancer diagnosis are understandably saddened by the news which affects everything from mood, energy levels and sleep and eating habits. Seeking professional counseling during the grieving process may be beneficial for some people. Also, getting on a anti-depressant may help and keep positive feelings when going through the road ahead and treatments.
PHASE 5- Acceptance
The last stage is acceptance of the cancer diagnosis. It doesn’t mean that a person has completely let go of their grief, but that they’ve accepted cancer as a part of their life. Although this is the last stage of cancer grief, a person can still revert back to other stages or skip some stages in the grieving process all together.
The main thing mom has learned is that living with cancer is a new way of living. It may still be your life but now there are changes in place that you did not choose. I always told mom you only have CANCER when you have to take that pill @ 5:00pm. Otherwise, you are no different than me. This way of coping really helped mom. She did not want to feel different or a burden on anyone. After, moms diagnosis I sat down with my brothers and sister and said look mom only has “Cancer” when she has her treatments or doctor appointments other than that she’s our mom and we still treat her exactly the same as we always have. So I hope this little bit of info can help you or a loved one.
Embrace what has been put in front of you a path that you did not choose, but one that was chosen for you. You will get through this! Believe me you will.
-All my blessings to anyone affected by cancer….